This winter seems to have lasted forever.
It has been miserably cold, and so much snow fell during February.
But since Friday the weather has started to ease up a bit.
The snow is starting to look slightly mucky, which can only mean one thing:
Now I have lived in Ottawa my whole life, and should have learned by now not that winter doesn't go away without putting up a fight.
But I can't help but think about how beautiful life will be this spring.

Today I have the windows open, and the sun is beaming through our entire apartment.
I feel alive.
I want to be able to go on walks down by the river again.
I want to take a blanket and go to the field across our street and daydream.
I want to show my son our favourites spots in our darling neighbourhood.
I want to no longer feel like a hermit and to enjoy the outdoors again.

So winter, do me a favour: go away quickly and gently this year.



How far along are you? 36 weeks. On March 4th I will officially be full term which means if baby comes early, I can have it at the birthing centre as opposed to the hospital.

Weight gain: 35 pounds

Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty well, which I am super grateful for. I want to get as much sleep as I can over the next few weeks, before the baby throws every routine out the window.

Movement: He's getting into the habit of pressing and rolling his head against my bladder, which is pretty uncomfortable, but cute at the same time. Since he's dropped it feels weirder and weirder when he hiccups. Absolutely adorable!

Favourite moments: (1) Alex and I have been spending a lot of our evenings not really doing anything, and enjoying the last few weeks we have alone together. (2) On Monday we packed our hospital bags, and today we got to tour the Birthing Centre. I still can't believe how quickly this trimester has gone by!

Weird pregnancy things: I had a very weird, realistic dream the other night that I had to be induced. During this pregnancy I have been trying to keep myself as opened minded about labour as possible. There are so many things that could happen, and I want to be mentally prepared for all of them. I hadn't really thought about induction until I had the dream. It's not ideal, of course, but I want to go into labour with as open as a mind as possible.

Happy or moody? Happy!

Looking forward to: (1) I finally get to meet my second midwife this week. I absolutely adore Wendy, and can not wait to meet Kadija. Midwifery has made me feel so empowered and confident during the course of my pregnancy. (2) This past week I told Alex that I am really looking forward to being able to wear non maternity clothes soon. I know I will probably wear my maternity bottoms for a while after he is born, but I feel like I have worn the same 3 outfits on repeat for the past few weeks.



I had a random thought a couple days ago: I'm not going to pregnant for much longer. I know it's an obvious statement, since this baby could come at any time now (!!!!!!!). As much as I can not wait to meet our son and have him here, I am really going to miss being pregnant.

I had so many assumptions about pregnancy before I was pregnant. I assumed I would gain weight everywhere, that I would be sick for 9 months straight. I assumed I would be super tired, and hibernate at home the whole duration. But to be honest, I have never been happier. Getting to know this baby and feel him grow has been such a beautiful experience for me.

The selfish part of me isn't ready to share him with the world yet. For the past 8 months I've had him all to myself, and I have loved every moment. I know he is safe where he is right now. The world can't touch him, can't hurt him. I hope that as he grows he will know how much I love him. How much I want the best for him. How hard I am trying to be the best mother for him.

With all these fears and doubts, I know that Alex and I are meant to be parents at this precise time. And if our Heavenly Father has faith in us, then I guess that will be enough to get me through.

Not long now little one. Not long at all.



How far along are you? 35 weeks. Almost a month away (if he arrives on time!)

Weight gain: 33 pounds

Sleep: It's getting a little rougher simply because it takes more and more effort for me to roll over. Every time I switch positions I have to wake up in order to move my whole body.

Movement: He stills burrows out now and again, but his movement is not as distinct as it used to be, simply because he is running of space down there!

Favourite moments: The place where we were staying for our babymoon had a huge soaker bath tub. Baby was absolutely loving being in the water. Alex and I were getting a kick out of watching his movements in my belly. Definitely going to a be a fish like his mommy and daddy.

Weird pregnancy things: I started doing squats this week (since exercise has been non existent during my pregnancy..whoops) and boy do my legs burn!!!!!! By the time I get to 30 squats, I become easily winded. Must admit I am looking forward to having my breathing back once this baby comes.

Happy or moody? Happy!

Looking forward to: This coming Monday Alex and I will be preparing our hospital bags. It's so close!!!!!!!!!!!